Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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