how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Everyone says I win the strip club
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
