Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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