Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
