I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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