be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
