Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
