Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
