She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Someone came in the potted fern
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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