I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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