oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
