Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
