Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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