Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
