how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
