last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
