okay pat passed out under dana's car
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
