they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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