Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
