that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
