Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
