shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
...so i touched it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
