Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
