mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
