I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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