I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
