he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
