Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
