u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
