tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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