I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
