My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
