I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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