Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
