if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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