actually, I'm a sock model
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
