i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
