She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
