I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
