i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
this will be a night to untag.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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