I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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