Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
