That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
