Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
