Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
COCAINE IS GR8
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