i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
