the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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