if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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