god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
