hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I AM VODKA MAN
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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