i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
